the theatre

[productions]

the theatre



You awaken in a darkened theatre.

In front of you is an enormous cinema screen. On it plays everything that's currently happening in the mansion, accompanied by appropriate sound effects and background instrumentals when fitting. The seat you're sitting on is large and plush, and while there's many of them, there's enough room in the theatre for you to fully recline the seat into a comfortable bed if you wish. Under each seat is a sleeping mask and noise-cancelling headphones, in case you'd like to take a break from watching the show.

Follow the stairs up and you'll reach what should be the projection room. There are no projectors in here, however; it is simply a large and well-lit room above the main seating area, and a good place to hang out with your fellow eliminated contestants if shouting at each other across the aisles proves too much to handle.

If you leave the theatre through the door in the back, you'll find yourself in a hall. On one end is a concession stand. It's stocked with standard movie snacks - popcorn, candy and the like - but if you're feeling the urge for something else, you'll be able to find it stocked somewhere in the back. On the other end is a table with thirty wrapped bags and a placard reading 'A star for our stars! Please accept these lovely giftbags as a token of appreciation for your hard work, sponsored by [illegible smudge]'. Each bag has a tag bearing the name of someone in the mansion; you will only be able to open the bag with your name on it. As soon as you open it, any memories that have been taken from you, including those of the other people in the mansion that you may have forgotten, will be returned in their entirety. Within the bag are also objects from your home that you may want for your stay here, though you will find no weapons.

There are no other doors in the hall save for the one leading back into the theatre room. There are also no windows; it is impossible to tell where you are and what is going on in the outside world. Any attempts to break out will fail. So in the meantime, why not sit back and enjoy the show?

Oh, and one more thing. At midnight following each execution, once all those who've died that week have woken up, a video will begin to play on screen.

Comments

[speakveryclearly]

I am so incredibly unsurprised by that answer.

[souredsweet]

[snickering because he is so nice]

I would not mind if it was Felicia. What a grating person...

[speakveryclearly]

Neither would I. She's just so... infuriating in her simplicity. It would be different if she were capable of feigning a single shred of sympathy for the executed.

Her outward appearance, of course, COULD BE A FACADE AS THE MASTERMIND'S ACTIONS WOULD HAVE TO BE BY DEFINITION.

[NOT LOUD ENOUGH THAT POLAND CAN HEAR OR ANYTHING]

[souredsweet]

[now he's laughing even harder oh no...]

You would think after eight weeks of deception that everyone would have learned by now. [HO HUM.] Well, let us hope that the emotions of those still living do not interfere with their ability to conduct proper investigations.

[speakveryclearly]

I think the lesson Ukraine's lynching taught them might have finally sunk in!

[Said exactly as cheerily as Felicia talks after the executions]

[souredsweet]

[A+ Kanaya he is so proud...!]

What a good impression! Ah, but they do seem to be slow learners.

1/2

[speakveryclearly]

Thank you. I've been working on them.

[speakveryclearly]

[Now for Poland all incensed:] You like totally don't know him like I do! He's like the only person in this crazy show who ISN'T like faking!

1/2

[souredsweet]

[clapping and looking delighted!!]

Oh, that's perfect! You truly have been working on them, that sounds exactly like him. Ah, I'd like to try one—

[souredsweet]

[okay okay give him a second... give him a secooond

now that he's put his popcorn down, he's got his arms folded over his chest, looking grumpy in a Susan-ish way.]

Yes, I'm the producer, congratulations for finally figuring it out two months and far too many clues later. Would you like a celebratory cake with sparkling candles to go with your award?

1/3

[speakveryclearly]

[You have killed Kanaya. She is actually dead. Not even a vampire or ghost anymore. Okay fine that's a figure of speech.]

2/3

[speakveryclearly]

So you have figured out my wicked plan. I thought that my stunts with the firearm would suffice to distract you from my true nature...

3/3

[speakveryclearly]

Wow, no, I can't even do this justice.

1/2

[souredsweet]

[r.i.p ghost kanaya...]

It was close! The only flaw is that you did not quite sound like a very serious middle-aged man.

[souredsweet]

[no okay he glances back toward the screen for a few minutes, and then (complete with emphatic hand gestures):]

The producer is, in reality, none other than — the Stingers! All of us, however many there are! It was written in the cards of destiny from the start; even my great Romani ancestors were aware that this day would come!

[speakveryclearly]

[Singing, not very well]

Now the truth is clear to see! The mastermind was always me! That's why Poland bit the dust - part-Romani, it's a must!

[souredsweet]

[it is beautiful.]

A truly suiting ballad. ...Or should I perhaps say- [pitching his voice up because apparently May has not suffered enough yet, now she must be impersonated too.] -Miss Rapture always provides the finest entertainment! Even if you are the producer, I will be grateful for your beautiful song, which will surely be remembered for generations to come!

[speakveryclearly]

[She has to just pat impression-May on the head because even that is too cute]

That's enough for now. We'll get to the bottom of this and get that mastermind arrested. Like the civilized human beings most of us are.





I have government combat training.

[souredsweet]

[snickering...

and then looking SUPER NERVOUS AND MELANCHOLY, almost like he's suffering from a sudden stomach ache.]

—Thank you, Alice. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to get the clue, but... this next investigation, I think we can figure it out. We have to, even though I may be hiding the missing puzzle pieces that are actually needed. But that would really be ridiculous, because if I was the producer, I would have only put one rule in place...

There will be no stripping.

[notyetlost]

Needs more screaming for that last bit.

[souredsweet]

That sort of spectacular air of panic would be quite difficult to recapture... [clears his throat... and then, with a surprisingly (or not, really, who's surprised by Kaoru's acting skill by now) accurate rendition of panicky irateness:]

—Fine! Fine! We should just— hold every trial in the nude! Strip searches for every murder! Sonia can bring her waterboarding table and May's panda can be the interrogator and the ratings will be so high that we might as well do it every week!

[notyetlost]

[Okay now Poland's giggling--]

Ehehee~!

[speakveryclearly]

[Talking a little too fast because the ritalin has almost worn off]

That's right, in America we keep our clothes on at all times, unless you want to have a conversation in private, which I've resigned myself to nobody doing with me considering the risks of getting in a relationship during a murder mystery. Guess who's staying alive till the end of this horror movie. Mazurek Dąbrowskiego.

So in our culture when we think people are our sexpot servants, we just dress them up as skimpily as possible, but maintain modest costumes for our own dignity.

[souredsweet]

[making a small choking noise of laughter and then BAM, super passive aggressive smile. spainemote.png...]

Ay, how sad. What's life without love? A budding romance is worth the risk of dying!

[speakveryclearly]

[She opens her mouth, can't think of anything, closes it, and then opens it again suddenly with her hand covering her eyes]

I can't guarantee your safety, but I do have to admit it will raise ratings! Good luck, lovebirds~!