If it makes you feel any better you're not the only one.

When everyone was given a desirable item mine as an incentive, was a declaration for my own independence. I would be lying if I said I hadn't considered murdering for it, but then I thought it would make a mockery of everyone who had died for it back then.

If I did kill someone for it and then find out it was something I had all along I would be furious, I don't blame you for feeling cheated.