[the idea of starting new is something he hadn't ever considered before, since it seemed like such an impossibility. as he looks down at his hands and Sonia's, though, it doesn't seem quite so farfetched.

it will require a lot more thinking on his part, but his expression eases from its blankness into a soft considering.] ...The most that I could expect from this life is misery. I thought... that the least I could do is bring others to this horrible place, too, since climbing up to reach them is impossible for someone like me. But... [there sure are a lot of "buts" happening in this conversation.] ...When you talk like that, you make it sound like it might not be so.